Staying Calm in a Crisis

Posted on Dec 4 2014 - 9:30pm by Jennifer
Falling Crisis

Image by renjith krishnan @

Today was a true test of the whole “IADOMA” theory. A crisis fell into my lap just when I thought everything was going smoother. While at work I received a disturbing email. I was completely blind sighted as I read an email outlining a series of issues and problems that had led our day care provider to the decision to cancel our agreement. My husband and I had no idea there was any sort of issue. At least, not this bad.

A Serious Case of Three-Itis

Our daughter is three. She has a serious case of “three-itis”, as we call it. She’s also very strong-willed and is taking her time in learning to listen and do what is asked of her. Often she is a very bright, cheery, well-mannered, loving child who actually does what is asked of her. Sometimes, she’s not. She’s stubborn and has been since the day she was born, and when she sets her mind to something it’s very hard to change it. We are working on this with her and doing our best to teach her. Apparently not fast enough, though. Suddenly I found myself faced with our day care provider not feeling our daughter has “settled” in very well and that her behavior issues are too much for her to handle.

Panic Mode

Suddenly, I found myself facing 30 days to find a new day care provider, with absolutely no back up available in case it takes longer. I panicked. I tend to do that – react with stress first. I wanted to cry, scream, rage. I felt like I was entering some kind of Twilight Zone.. Everything had seemed fine! Only recently had I gotten a few texts about issues Kaylee was having and how they were dealing with them. At home, we carried on the conversation and reminded Kaylee of the rules, etc.

Calming Time

One of the first things I did – besides panic – was post in a local mommies group on Facebook looking for information on preschools. Even though I was in the middle of my panic and fear, I sent that message out there and then went back to my worries. It didn’t take long before I received a private message from someone running a daycare/preschool who had an opening! I took the time to feel all my fears, worries, and stress.. then I let them all go. This was a perfect time for IADOMA – “It all depends on my attitude”. I could choose to continue fretting over my fears.. I could choose to get really angry. Or I could choose to look for the bright side – and investigate my options (instead of just deciding ahead of time that there were none).

Looking on the Bright Side

One conclusion both my husband and I came to quickly was that if the day care provider wasn’t happy with our daughter, chances were good our daughter wasn’t too happy with her either. We thought she enjoyed her time there – and to a point she really does – but maybe it could be better for her. Maybe there was a better fit. Someone who could handle her strong-willed nature.

The first person to contact me seemed like a miracle. Everything we discussed seemed to fit perfectly and she didn’t even flinch when I pointed out that our daughter can be quite a handful (and some). As of writing this we are just waiting to meet this person to see if we truly are all a good fit – but the point is more that this came fast. I chose not to focus on the negative longer than I needed to. I felt what I was going to feel. I raged a little, cried a little, then moved on and looked for solutions. And almost as soon as I did, a solution came to me. And even if this one doesn’t work, others were offered as well.

Do you have any stories of a crisis in your life that you were able to overcome by changing your attitude? Please share in the comments below! I’d love to hear about it. Or if you’re facing a crisis and need help, please feel free to comment and ask. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone else. IADOMA!